Kick 'em When They're Down

Want angst? Ladies and gentlemen, I give you the Atlanta Braves.

After 15 years of gleeful tomahawk chops, dominance accompanied by a shrug and a sense of noblesse oblige, hard times have arrived in the City That Doesn't Give a Crap If We Win the Division Every Year.

Yes, the team is under .500, their wild card playoff hopes, which are alive only because they play in the Circuit That Plays Like Seniors, are on the life support.

But wait, those New Southerners who still care had murmured at the start of the week. The Pirates are coming to town! Surely we shall resurrect our hopes by feasting for three games on these Rust Belt Schmoes. Then the Nationals are coming in, and that's three more and...

Well, in the immortal words of somebody, Not so fast, Bubba.

Things started off on schedule Monday, with a John Smoltz-authored win. But then came the eighth-inning collapse Tuesday, and then came, shockingly, another win for the road-challenged Buccos last night, courtesy of a Freddie Sanchez homer and another dominating performance by Mike Gonzales to close things out.

Hold the presses. The Pirates won two of three. On the road. In Atlanta.

How are the Braves fans taking it? The Buccin' Ear thinks this entry from the Braves blog at the Atlanta Constitution-Journal Web site sums it up best:

"We lose to the Pirates, the sorry, stinking, good for nothing, everybodies (sic) doormat Pirates. If we were losing against the Mets or Dodgers or somebody good you might understand it, but the Pirates? It is hard to accept the fact that the Braves are just a sub .500 team. They are not playing bad, this is just the kind of team they are. I would never have believed it earlier in the year but their play has proved it."

On behalf of Pirates fans everywhere: Welcome to our world. Deal with it, Bubba.

But enough on the sorry, stinking, good for nothing, everybody's doormat Braves. As Butch Cassidy said to the Sundance Kid, "Boy, a little cloud appears on your horizon, and you go all to pieces."

We Pirate fans take our satisfaction where we can get it, and Atlanta is as good as it gets. Since 1997, a trip to Atlanta has been as welcome for the Pirates as, well, a summer trip to the Deep South, which is to say sticky, uncomfortable and unsatisfying. Yes, it has been that long since the Bucs won a series from the Braves in Rhett Butler Country, so named because most Braves fans have that famous fictional southerner's most famous reactionto their team: "Frankly, my dear, I don't give a damn."

But then this series might be called the resistable force against the movable object. As bad as the Pirates have been on the road (now 17-48), the Braves have been just as woeful at home (now 26-33). Certainly, the Braves must have been looking enviously at the Pirates bullpen this week. While the Pirates feasted on Braves relief pitching the last two nights, Pirates relievers held the fort after a decent outing by Shawn Chacon on Tuesday, and bailed out Ian Snell Wednesday. Matt Capps entered last night's game with the bases loaded and two out after Snell suddenly tired. Capps got a strikeout, and that was all she wrote for the Braves.

Gonzales may not be drawing a lot of attention from fans because of the team he plays on, but he should be. After a season of high-wire acts, Gonzo has shown that he belongs among the elite closers in the game. He now does what they do: simply slams the door.

And that door you heard slamming was on the playoff hopes of the Braves. Chipper, Andruw, Marcus, enjoy the rest of your nice, quiet summer at home.